10 April 2006

Hi Dino,
We’re (Brunette, me, 9 year old goldfish brain and three year old) off up to the big smoke tomorrow. I’ve spent the morning planning my route via Google and various travel web sites. I’ve found it very difficult to know whether we are going to be travelling in “peak” or “off peak” times. We are to be leaving very early so as to arrive at the passport office near to Victoria Station at 8:15am and I simply needed to know at what time “peak” started of a morning – all the sites inform one as to what time “off peak” starts – 9:30am until 4:30 and then it is “peak” but surely it can’t still be “peak” at 4:00am the next morning? Well the best answer I could get was “peak starts in the morning sir” from a very polite but savvy lacking Brick Lane accent. Political politeness restrains me from letting on which end of Brick Lane but you’ll get the gist.

Our nine year old took part in a “fun run” this last Sunday (quite what “fun” has to do with running I’m not sure) any road it was ran or run at the same time and in the same rough area as the now infamous Reading Half Marathon or “4 ½ yard beetle” as my mate calls it (half the full nine yards). As you can imagine, Readinge (pronounced Readinge) comes to a complete standstill for this one day a year with nearly all roads closed except to busses, taxis, steel band mini-busses and lunatic cyclists. Well to make a short story longer; our portion of the day’s events ended about 7 hours ahead of the main event – it being a fun 2k and not 13. whatever miles – so I had two choices – stay for the next 7 hours and enjoy the pain on the staggering finishers contorted faces or use my direction-finding skills to get us home for an afternoon of crocus and bind-weed pulling. I smugly flicked on the local radio station in the car to be greeted with “Here is the traffic report for all you people trying to get home or to the shops while the Reading Half Marathon is on … most of the surrounding area is grid locked and the list of road closures is on our web site”. The brunette giggled nervously. I took up the challenge. The brunette tightened her seat belt and called over her shoulder to the kids to do likewise. With a 23 mile detour I made it to the far side of Town in just under 3 hours 57 but then to my utter dismay, we had to stop for an hour and a half at a MacDonald’s (it wasn’t my idea – I was just humming the tune – the kids said we had to stop). Anyway as it turned out by the time we’d scoffed our way through the best part of three quid, the roads were opened again but for next time, how on earth can I get the inter wibbly in the car? Am I that far out of date and it is common place these days to surf the wobbly while tackling the hairpins on the B348?

Any who, to get to the point of my email – how are you dear chap? Have you completed your decorating task? Have you written it down for t’book? Any news of my imminent appointment as lay-about in-waiting at the City Office?